Reflecting tonight on where I came from compared to where I am today.
I can’t believe it’s been 20 years since I was living in a runaway shelter for homeless teens.
There were many times throughout my younger years that I could not envision a brighter future for myself, especially one that was paved by my own desperate desire to live a life that was authentically me.
Growing up, I was taught to keep my energy small. Be seen and not heard. Not to make a spectacle of myself.
For years I bottled everything up. I did my best to please others in a frenzied attempt to gain love and approval.
I found that even my best dressed intentions were not enough. To them, I was not enough.
In 2016, I set an intention for myself to seek and live my best authentic life. I had so many layers of people-pleasing, programmed perspectives of myself and others, and weeding out others’ emotions from my own. But I did it!
The road to where I stand today was not easy, not straight. Where I stand today isn’t always rainbows and sunshine. But I’m proud of my progress and look forward to growing more with time.
Here’s my favorite Audrey Hepburn quote: “As a child, I was taught that it was bad manners to bring attention to yourself, and to never, ever make a spectacle of yourself … All of which I’ve earned a living doing.”
To her I say, “Ditto.” |THIS.
[By Nat Spinz | Photo by Eric Palmer Photography]
Nat Spinz is a performance artist with a specialty in LED hoop dancing and fire spinning. She’s also 1/3 of flow arts group Flames ‘N Dames. Natspinz.com
