Back in the 1980’s Hip Hop group Whodini famously asked this question: Friends… How many of us have them? Friends… The ones we can depend on?
No matter how much we try to flex and act like we don’t need any friends, saying things like “I’m Gucci”, “No new friends”, “I don’t need nobody”, and “We good over here”, the truth is we do need those valuable relationships.
I’m not saying we need an entourage, but we do need at least one we can depend on.
Human connection is important. Yes, bad experiences from the past do effect how we feel about forming and pursuing new friendships. That’s understandable. We should always move with caution and sensibility.
I know this can be difficult, especially for women. But let’s be honest. A lot of us are straight up haters!
I’m definitely not that chic, but there’s a large population of them.
Women are notoriously known for not speaking to other women because of the following: The other woman is well put together, she’s is smart, she has money, she has a man, is jealous because they both share a mutual friend who hangs out with one woman more than the other woman.
I could go on with more excuses of why many women aren’t friendly towards other women.
Being petty is what it actually boils down to.
And fellas, don’t think you’re all exempt. Y’all quick to look the other way or tighten those lips in preparation of not speaking to another guy as he walks by because the other dude’s pecs and biceps are swollen muscularly, busting through his shirt while your little bird is just chilling in its cage.
Or this: Every time you hear a particular guy’s name, everybody is always giving him props except you. So, whenever you see that guy, instead of speaking you’re saying to yourself, “F that guy! He ain’t all that.”
Instead of feeding into what’s commonly dysfunctional amongst us humans, I’m here to promote true friends. Women, I’m talking about the one who’s going to always tell you without hesitation that you stank, you got boogers, that your outfit doesn’t look right, or “girl you’re stupid. That man is playing you”!
For the fellas, they tell you to man up when they see you operating below your potential. They provide support when they know you’re enduring hardships at work, home, etc. Guys may even pick up the phone to crack jokes on each other, all in the name of brotherly love.
These kinds of friends are always 100% honest!
Whether it hurts your feelings or not, they have your best interests in mind at all-times. There’s no competition, no jealousy, no sneak dissing with other friends. It’s all love.
True friendship is organic. The chemistry is raw, natural, and unforced. You never have to worry about why they haven’t called in 3 weeks. You don’t have to wonder if they’re mad about what I said earlier. You never have to feel stupid to talk about what’s on your mind. No matter how much time has elapsed in between the last conversations, the connection is unbreakable. These are the friends we need. The ones we can depend on.
It’s timeout for not being friendly to others. You don’t have to be friends to be friendly. When you pass up the opportunity of simply saying hello or smiling at someone to acknowledge their presence, you never know what connections you miss out on because you’re in your feelings, you’re jealous, or you’re feeling inferior at the moment.
If you see another woman looking fly, tell her! Don’t mean-mug her and walk past her with an attitude. Ain’t no regulations out here that state only one woman can be fly at a time. Relax!
If a guy sees another guy that’s looking real smooth, don’t automatically get intimated and not speak to him because you think he wants your woman. Relax! Every good-looking guy ain’t speaking to you to get to your lady. Give that fella a head nod and keep it moving. Head nods are free.
Just remember, a squad of 1 ain’t a squad. And if you’re a hater, simply quit hating and find a real squad to be a part of. There’s value in connection and community. And the last time I checked, nobody loses when they gain something with value.
It’s quality over quantity. I feel that applies to anything in life, however you have to value people in order for that to be true.
It’s never too late to stop the hate. Be friendly so you can be a friend to someone and they can be one to you. |THIS.
[By Keisha Crawford]
