“Excuse me, ma’am, but you have a hair hanging on your chin. Let me just get that for you.”
Have you ever had that happen to you? A friend, an acquaintance or sometimes a complete stranger sees something that appears out of place or abnormal, so they genuinely step in to help.
But what that person didn’t know is that big ol long, coarse, jet black hair that blatantly mismatches everything on your face has been growing from your chin for 18 years now. And what they just did was reminded you that you forgot to pluck it before you ran out of the house without prepping yourself … because you thought, “I’m just going in the store for 1 minute. I won’t see anyone.”
Some would call this a memorable, horrific moment and some would call this pure comedy. More often, moments like these leave a nasty, embarrassing dark stain on our pants that causes us to run and hide and develop a self-complex.
Cambridge.com defines complex as a particular anxiety or unconscious fear that a person has, especially as a result from an unpleasant experience they had in the past. Or it’s because they have a low opinion of their own worth. An inferiority complex.
Growing up, I was always really skinny with huge feet. I wore a size 9 in the 6th grade. Yep, imagine the female character Olive Oyl from the classic cartoon Popeye. She was an awkwardly tall, skinny stick figure with big feet. Anytime I wore sandals, I got teased about how gigantic my big toe was and how ugly they were.
So, instead of developing a complex about my feet, I found out what special skills my big toes had. One day, I learned how to toss cherry sour candy balls across the room with them. And I got good at it! That may not be considered a special skill to others. But, hey, it’s a skill not everyone has. Plus, I had fun with it. Therefore, I considered it special.
So, about these self-complexes; they come to steal, kill and destroy.
Envision one of those dastardly cartoon characters that some of us watched as kids, like Dr. Claw from Inspector Gadget or Gargamel from the Smurfs. They despised happiness and greatness and wanted people to be miserable at all costs.
The same goes for self-complexes.
They won’t let you be great! They rob you of all that awesomeness. That “I got a hot sauce in my bag swag” that Beyonce spoke of.
Don’t let complexes be a thing in your life. Besides, they’re actually invisible. No one sees them but you, so don’t give it attention. Anything you don’t feed dies, so starve those villains and watch them fade away.
Take that same energy to feed those special skills and talents that stick out like a sore thumb. Yes, people point them out and notice them for [this] reason: you’re extraordinary, different, and awesome! Embrace it and work it to your advantage.
There’s an abundance of big-toed, hairy-chinned women out there just waiting for your big toe and hairy chin to come along and help them realize they also have a secret sauce that shouldn’t be hiding behind those invisible, powerless self-complexes.
It may take some time for some of us to get used to being extraordinary because it creates a spotlight or extra attention that many of us aren’t accustomed to or comfortable with. I urge you to marinate in it. It’s your sauce; so trust me, it’ll be good and others will definitely keep requesting it.
It’s special and so are you.
Greatness awaits you, so go be great. Don’t be a no-show.
I also learned to laugh and laugh often. Life is never so serious that you can’t laugh at yourself. And if you’re laughing at yourself first, what harm is it going to do if others laugh too? |THIS.
[By Keisha Crawford]
