Since I’ve been adulting, I’ve recognized that I, along with many other adulters, deny ourselves of these two things: saying “No” and self-care.
Such small words but very impactful in lots of ways.
Is it that we feel like people won’t like us anymore if we say “No”? Will people view us as being self-centered and selfish if we take some time to ourselves for rest and development?
As a society we fail to realize that saying “No” and practicing self-care are directly related to effectively helping others.
We’ve been programmed to think that if we’re not constantly on the go, running ourselves in the ground, we’re not doing enough. And if we develop a healthy sleep pattern of more than 4 hours per night, we’re lazy.
Personally speaking, I made it a point of not saying “No” because I always wanted to help people when they called and not let them down. For years, I inconvenienced myself, my marriage and my children’s lives at times, just because I didn’t say “No”.
How stupid, right?
And naturally, we beat ourselves up because we come to a point that we realize how much time and energy we’ve wasted doing things we never wanted to do, which eventually caused us to miss out on what we should’ve been doing.
But it’s all good. As long as we have breath in our lungs there’s time to make changes!
We don’t have time to waste beating ourselves up, so let’s use it to focus on learning to say “No” and taking care of ourselves. No explanation needed.
We can’t be there for everyone all the time. So, don’t let people make you feel like crap because they’ve made you their only solution. Besides, who’s going help you when you get physically worn down and mentally dilapidated?
Whether we know it or not, saying “No” and practicing self-care leads to greater things, like one’s purpose. Think about it, if we’re constantly saying “Yes” to everything and not stopping to breathe, sleep, decompress, get away, pray or simply be, how will we ever have time to do what we were created to do?
Saying “No” allows us time to align with our purpose and using that time to do what’s important.
Purpose brings us fulfilment, joy, peace, and determination to do better and keep moving.
Purpose makes way for legacy.
Legacy is about sharing what we’ve learned throughout our journey and honoring values over valuables. It’s also about leaving some form of valuable imprint on society.
That legacy or imprint may not be global or as large scale as you may want or think it should be, but as long as you’ve touched one person in a positive, valuable way, you’ve done a great job.
So, what’s more important to you? Pleasing others because “No” hurts their feelings or embracing “No” and self-care so that you can operate in purpose while creating a great, meaningful legacy that helps mankind?
The word “no” rolls off my tongue so easily now. And I’ve learned to say it in different languages!
And whether you take 5 minutes per day, 24 hours per week, or whatever, self-care also becomes easier once you start doing it. It’ll become something that you won’t ever neglect again.
It was this year after I turned 39 when I finally hit the subscribe button to saying “No” and tuning in to self. It’s never too late.
As Randy Jackson so famously said on American Idol, “It’s a ‘No’ for me, dawg.” |THIS.
[By Keisha Crawford]
