My cousins and I, and sometimes my friends and I too, used to make these ridiculous hypothetical wagers. We’d say stuff like, “Would you let someone lock you in a room where you have to listen to ‘Don’t Worry, Be Happy’ on repeat for 24 hours for a million dollars?”
Another was, “Would you let The Road Warriors do the Dooms Day Device on you for a million dollars?”
One of the best ones was, “Would you fight Mike Tyson for a million dollars?”
The funny thing about Tyson is most of us fought him. More than once. And we lost badly. Getting in the ring with Iron Mike costed our parents about $60. Our payout for the bout was embarrassment, anxiety, and getting laughed at.
Nintendo brought their Punch-Out arcade game to their NES home console and added Mike Tyson to it as the ultimate final opponent. Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out had a one-hit knockout waiting for you at the end of its rainbow, but you first had to overcome a troupe of colorful combatants along the way.
Learning each fighter’s tell was a key component, but that education didn’t always save you from Bald Bull’s tricky Bull Charge or Super Macho Man’s dizzying spinning punch.
I remember how excited and relieved I was to finally make it to Tyson, only to have him KO me with the first punch he threw – a flash-of-lightning quick, blink-and-you-missed-it uppercut. Then he laughed at me.
My son was recently humming the in-ring music from Mike Tyson’s Punchout, not realizing how much it was stressing me out. To him it’s just Little Mac’s stage music on Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. To me it’s the tune of a childhood nightmare.
It’s that horror that makes it one of the greatest video games ever! |THIS ENT
[By Mr. Joe Walker]
